A Prosperous Spirit

Only 30 seconds ago I clicked two buttons on Google Reader that will dramatically change my world. The first was a button to select every one of my Google Reader feeds, all 114 of them. The second was the unsubscribe button, thereby effectively emasculating my use of Google Reader. No more feeds coming in; therefore no more feeds for me to read.

Since moving out of our home in Mauldin in August 2009, I have done almost no physical conditioning. Between living with family, building a home, moving into that home, coaching a basketball team, and the Christmas holidays, having a regular workout routine has been more than I wanted to deal with.

Even though I am still coaching, I am ready to get back into a regular routine of working out again. That routine began today.

Three years ago I went through Body for Life and it revolutionized the way I looked at my health. I followed that up the next year with a half marathon and last year with a Sprint Triathlon. This year, I want to get back to where I was in 2008 when I was in the best physical condition of my life. Not only did I enjoy the positive physical effects, but I enjoyed the positive spiritual impact it had on me as well.

This morning I began Body for Life again. Day One. And boy, am I grateful I have done this before. Getting started on a new workout regimen (after not being on one) is never easy. But beginning my regimen, the exact same one I did three years ago, was much easier today than it was then. Much easier.By easier, I do not mean that the workout was easier, but that the whole “Process” was easier.

I share this to encourage those who may not have this advantage; the advantage of having already done something once before. Doing something for the very first time is hard. Physically hard, emotionally hard, just hard all around. But if it is something that you know you need to do, then persevere. Pray for God to empower you and push forward.

When you do something for the first time it is like an explorer carving a path out of the jungle. It is tedious, hard and slow-going. However, once you have carved out the path, the next time that you need to travel that path it won’t be as difficult. Whether it is a day later or a year later. Sure, if it is a year later, it may get overgrown a bit, but the path will still be there.

So even though it is hard now, push on! It will be something that you not only can look back on with pride once your done. But it may be something that makes it that much easier later on to push through another similar, or even bigger obstacle.

Yes, I understand that I am a little late welcoming in 2010. It is amazing that the new year is close to two weeks old. I love a new year because it provides additional motivation to focus on the both the events of the previous year and the desires for the new one.

Find thirty minutes to do that. Mentally review 2009; what did you see God accomplish in and through you? Then focus on 2010. Take some time to pray and ask for God to work in and through you during this year. Commit your heart to be dependent on the Spirit’s leading.

I think you can best describe how I have been feeling lately by taking one glance at my daily office calendar. The top of the calendar reads, “Braves Trivia – This former Braves relief pitcher worked offseasons as a high school biology teacher. Who was he?” But that question isn’t that part of the calendar I’m talking about. It is the bottom left. There you read, “Tuesday, October 6.” Now on Tuesday, October 6 that would be OK, or possibly even on the 7th, but not today. You see today is Tuesday, November 24, a full six weeks later.

Yes a lot has happened in my life over the last six weeks; closing on our family’s new home, beginning to coach a Middle School boy’s basketball team being two of the bigger items. Combine a busy personal life with a lot of activity at the church and next thing you know, your calendar is six weeks behind.

If you couldn’t see my calendar, you could still probably tell I was behind because it has been a while since I have posted something here. Over the next several weeks, I hope to keep my personal calendar, and this blog, a little more current.

A Prosperous Spirit can be difficult to maintain when we allow life’s busyness to overwhelm us. Oh, and by the way, the Braves relief pitcher was Bruce Del Cantor (1975-1976)

Of all the different items I have imagined of our new home, the mailbox was barely even afterthought… until Monday.

Monday, they did the final grade on the property in preparation for the landscaping. I wanted to send my wife an MMS message to let her know and so I looked for a photo opportunity. It was then I noticed the mailbox had been installed in the front yard and proceeded to take the picture that you see here. After that I went on my way to observe the more exciting elements of the backyard grading.

While standing in the house, a gentlemen approached and entered the house and asked me if I was the owner. I said I was and he introduced himself as the man installing the mailboxes for the new homes in our neighborhood. He had noticed me taking the picture of the mailbox and had some questions for me.

While we talked we walked back out to the mailbox because he wanted to show me how he had installed the mailbox lower on the post than all the other boxes in our neighborhood. Frankly, I don’t think I would ever have noticed unless he pointed it out. But he was right, the lower position did look better. he also proceeded to take twenty minutes to explain why his post wasn’t as smooth as he thought it should be and the work needed to get the number script to display properly.

Frankly, these items would never have entered my mind and might possibly have never been noticed. But this man’s passion for his work and for a quality mailbox drew me in. I even smiled as he used expletives to describe his frustration with getting the right sized font for the text. To see someone get that worked up about something I would never have noticed (unless it was wrong) made me only appreciate his passion even more.

Regardless of the field, we all loving seeing people passionate about their work, whether it is mailboxes, masonry or motherhood. Many people are unpassionate about their job and it shows. Why do something that you are not passionate about? Life is too short and God is too good for us to spend our times doing things that we are not passionate about.

What keeps you from doing what your passionate about? Is it fear? Is it a desire for comfort and ease? In the end, you and those around you will be much better served if you are engaged in something your passionate about.

This morning was a difficult morning. A group that I have been part of for over three years came to a close. This was not the original plan; we expected to be together for much longer, but that didn’t happen. Over the last year I think we could all see it was coming and today was just the time for us to declare it over. Today also gave us the opportunity to talk with each other and talk about how important the relationships are that we’ve formed and what we’ve learned from our time together.

This group was a father/son group and as our boys got older it was hard to maintain the cohesion necessary. It is much easier for 8-12 year old boys to relate to each other than 11-15 year olds. Add in some additional 8 and 9 year olds and it becomes even more challenging. It probably was possible, but it would have taken much more energy and focus than we were able to give it.

And while father/son groups can be successful, it is important that the families are involved as well. And by families I mean wives in particular. One thing you learn in working with a group of family men is that their non-work schedule is never fully their own. Our leisure schedules as dads are at some level or another either directed, controlled or hijacked by our family. That’s not a problem, just a reality of life. If we don’t include our wives as part of the event scheduling, it creates conflicts. Even better, if we can include our spouses in the actual event or its planning, there is much more likelihood of the event happening.

Another area that can hurt any small group is a failure to make strong commitments up front or, in longer standing groups, to renew commitments periodically. Sometimes were afraid to ask the tough question or to make the tough statement about our attitudes concerning the group. Ultimately, if you only have marginal participation and involvement than you can only have a marginal relationship. To have a significant relationship takes significant commitment. That’s true in all relationships; business, church and personal.

If we truly understood that it takes commitment to maintain healthy relationships, than we would be more willing to walk away from some relationships we’ve built after our interest or need for them has waned. Hanging on, keeps us from moving on and drags the group down too. From the group perspective, group members need to be more willing to cut the strings with those in the group who can’t make the commitment but are unwilling to walk away on their own(for whatever reason.)

Sometimes with a specific group it is just time to move on. That was true for this group. While there are elements that I will greatly miss, this was the right decision. I hope the lesssons we learned as men and fathers will strengthen us as we look ahead to new relationships that can form in the place of the ones that we’ve had. My life is much stronger and richer because of the relationships I’ve formed in this group and I hope it enables me to be even more effective as a group member in the future.

OK, I apologize for leaving you hanging for over a month now. I did not realize the amount of time and energy I would expend in this last month getting our house finalized for closing and getting everything moved out. Anyway… on with the story…

We were scheduled to close on our home on August 7. 4 weeks from when we signed the contract. This meant that every day that went by after July 7 was a day that we would need alternative housing. Home closings in our area were taking 5-6 weeks and with ours only being 4 weeks away, we would not be able to purchase a new house and close by August 7th.

After about one week of intense searching, we thought we had found the house for us. It was a Bargain Bin house. It would have normally been WAY out of our price range but it was in foreclosure and in bad enough shape that we could afford it. We actually even tentatively accepted a counter-offer by the bank, but it was very clear to Amy and I that this was not what God had for us and ultimately said no. That whole process, start to finish took about a week to work through now leaving us two weeks away from selling our home and being homeless.

The positive element of our search was that Amy and I were learning to listen to God. At one point, I received very clear direction that we were looking in the wrong place and needed to look elsewhere. That was a Friday. The following Monday, we looked in the area that God was pointing us to. That was where things got interesting…

That Monday, during my lunch break, my wife, our realtor and myself looked at every house in our price range in the area God was pointing us to. We went in with open hearts and minds, but at the end of the time, we realized that none of the houses would work. They were either too small or had other issues.

I came back to the office that afternoon, disappointed, but actually encouraged. Because I had a confidence that we were doing what God wanted us to do. My only concern is what we would do in the interim. My youngest sister and brother-in-law had graciously volunteered for our family to live with them (what a blessing!) but I wanted to inconvenience them for as short a time as possible.

Late that same afternoon, a single email turned my world upside down. It was from my realtor and said that we could build a brand new home that would have everything we needed, in a subdivision that was in the area we felt God wanted us to be, about $10,000 less than our max price. We had looked at another house in the subdivision, loved it, but it was too small and at the top of our price range anyway. Due to the current housing market, we would actually be able to build a much bigger house that met our needs for about the same cost!

“What is there to even think about?” I said. “Let’s do it!”

And we are. We are building a new home – something we would never have considered on our own; but something we’re really excited about.

If you want to see pictures of Week One of the build, check out our new family website – tedderfamily.org

or click this link here – http://www.tedderfamily.org/Tedder_Family/Home_Build.html#0

Almost immediately after the contract on our house was signed, we ratcheted up our home search. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why. We wanted somewhere to go after August 7!

In my last post, I mentioned that we had an important decision to make over 4th of July weekend. Would we try to work with a low-ball offer on our home. Well, after saying “no” to that offer, just one day later we had another showing and another offer! We knew these people were serious when they actually had two showings the same day. They called on Monday night saying they would have an offer ready on Tuesday. And they did; it was a very respectable offer and the first offer they made was 7,000 better than the quasi-offer we had just denied about two days earlier! We did some negotiations but we did eventually land on a number.